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'On a point of order, Mr Speaker. The Prime Minister's remarks are an absolute disgrace. I asked a perfectly straightforward question about why the Prime Minister had reneged on his election promise to patients and nurses, and all I have got are insults and evasion. While I understand the Prime Minister's reluctance to admit to the House that he has perpetrated a gigantic and disgraceful fraud, is there nothing you can do to protect the right of Members of this House to get a straight answer to a straight question?'
A roar of approval grew from Opposition members as the Speaker struggled to be heard above the commotion. "The Honourable Member, although he is new, seems already to have developed a sharp eye for parliamentary procedure, in which case he will know that I am no more responsible for the content or tone of the Prime Minister's replies than I am for the questions which are put to him. Next business!'
As the Speaker tried to move matters on, a red-faced Collingridge rose and strode angrily out of the Chamber, gesticulating for the Chief Whip to follow him. The very unparliamentary taunt of 'Coward!' rang after him across the floor. From the Government benches there was an uncertain silence.
'How in Christ's name did he know? How did that son-of-a-bitch know?'
The door had barely closed upon the Prime Minister's .office just off the rear of the Chamber when the screaming began. The normally suave exterior of Her Majesty's First Minister had been drawn back to reveal a wild Warwickshire ferret.
'Francis, it's simply not good enough. It's not bloody good enough I tell you. We get the Chancellor's report in Cabinet Committee yesterday, the full Cabinet discusses it for the first time today, and by this afternoon it's known to every snivelling creep in the Opposition. Less than two dozen Cabinet Ministers knew, only a handful of civil servants knew, but now every single Member of the Opposition knows. Who leaked it, Francis, who? I'm damned if I know, but you're Chief Whip and I want you to find out who the hell it was.'
Urquhart breathed a huge sigh of relief. Until the Prime Minister's outburst he had no idea if the finger of blame was already pointing at him, and the last couple of minutes had been distinctly uncomfortable.
It simply astonishes me that one of our Cabinet colleagues would want deliberately to leak something like this,' Urquhart began, implicitly ruling out the possibility of a civil service leak and narrowing the circle of suspicion to include each and every one of his Cabinet colleagues.
They've got us by the balls now, and it's going to hurt. Whoever is responsible had humiliated me, and I want him out, Francis. I want-I insist- that you find the worm. And men I want him fed to the crows.'
I'm afraid there's been too much bickering amongst our colleagues since the election. Too many of them seem to want someone else's job.'
'I know they all want my job, damn them, but who would be so - cretinous...' — the words were spat out — 'as to deliberately leak something like that?'
'I can't say for sure, Prime Minister.'
'Can't you even give me an educated guess, for Chris-sake?'
That would not be fair.'
'Life's not fair, Francis. Tell me about it.'
'But...'
'No "buts", Francis. If it's happened once it can and almost certainly will happen again. Accuse, imply, whatever you damned well like. There are no minutes being taken here. But I want some names!' Collingridge kicked a chair in frustration.
If you insist, I'll speculate. But I hope I'll not live to regret anything I'm going to say. I know nothing for sure, you understand... let's work from deduction. Given die time scale involved, it seems more likely to have leaked from yesterday's Cabinet Committee rather than from today's full Cabinet. Agreed?'
Collingridge nodded his assent.
'And apart from you and me, who is on that Committee?'
'Chancellor of the Exchequer, Financial Secretary, Health, Education, Environment, Trade and Industry.' The Prime Minister reeled off those Cabinet Ministers who had attended.
Urquhart remained silent, forcing Collingridge to finish off the logic himself. 'Well, the two Treasury Ministers were scarcely likely to leak the fact that they had screwed it up. But Health bitterly opposed it, so Peter McKenzie had a reason to leak it. Harold Earle at Education has always had a loose lip. And Michael Samuel has a habit of enjoying the company of the media rather too much for my liking.'
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