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"She talked a lot to the ghosts, but I didn't see them or hear them.
I just kept saying, 'Little Richard, come get her. Uncle Mickey, if shecan't come back, come get her.'
"But before the end came Terry, a practical nurse, as they calledthem then, who had to fill in when we could not get the registerednurse because they were in such demand. Terry, five foot seven,blonde, the cheapest and most alluring piece of goods I had ever laideyes on. Understand. This is a question of everything fitting togetherprecisely. The girl was a shining perfect piece of trash."I smiled. "Pink fingernails, and wet pink lipstick." I had seen hersparkle in his mind.
"Every detail was on target with this kid. The chewing gum, thegold anklet, the painted toenails, the way she slipped.off her shoesright there in the sickroom to let me see the toenails, the way thecleavage showed, you know, under her white nylon uniform. And herStupid, heavy-lidded eyes beautifully painted with Maybelline eyepencil and mascara. She'd file her nails in there in front of me! But Itell you, never have I seen something that was so completely realized,finished, ah, ah, what can I say! She was a masterpiece."I laughed, and so did he, but he went on talking.
"I found her irresistible. She was a hairless little animal. I starteddoing it with her every chance I had. While Mother slept, we did it inthe bathroom standing up. Once or twice we went down the hall toone of the empty bedrooms; we never took more than twentyminutes! I timed us! She'd do it with her pink panties around her ankles!
She smelled like Blue Waltz perfume."I gave a soft laugh.
"Do I ever know what you're saying," I mused. "And to think youknew it, you fell for her and you knew it.""Well, I was two thousand miles away from my New York womenand my boys and all, and all that trashy power that goes along withdealing, you know, the foolishness of bodyguards scurrying to opendoors for you, and girls telling you they love you in the backseat ofthe limousine just because they heard you shot somebody the nightbefore. And so much sex that sometimes right in the middle of it,the best oral job you've ever had, you can't keep your mind pn itanymore.""We are more alike than I ever dreamed. IVe lived a lie with thegifts given me.""What do you mean?" he asked.
"There isn't time. You don't need to know about me. What aboutTerry? How did Dora happen?""I got Terry pregnant. She was supposed to be on the Pill. Shethought I was rich! It didn't matter whether I loved her or she lovedme. I mean this was one of the dumbest and most simplemindedhumans I have ever known, Terry. I wonder if you bother to feed uponpeople that ignorant and that dull.""Dora was the baby.""Yeah. Terry wanted to get rid of it if I didn't marry her. I made abargain. One hundred grand when we marry (I used an alias, it wasnever legal except on paper and that was a blessing because Dora andI are in no way legally connected) and one hundred grand when thebaby was born. After that I'd give her her divorce and all I wanted wasmy daughter."" 'Our daughter,' she said.
" 'Sure, our daughter,' I said. What a fool I was. What I didn'tfigure on, the very obvious and simple thing, what I didn't figure onwas that this woman, this little nail-filing, gum-chewing, mascara-wearing nurse in her rubber-soled shoes and diamond wedding ring,would naturally feel for her own child. She was stupid, but she was amammal, and she had no intention of letting anybody take her baby.
Like hell. I wound up with visitation rights.
"Six years I flew in and out of New Orleans every chance I hadjust to hold Dora in my arms, talk to her, go walking with her in theevenings. And understand, this child was mine! I mean she was fleshof my flesh from the start. She started running towards me when shesaw me at the end of the block. She flew into my arms.
"We'd take a taxi to the Quarter and go through the Cabildo; sheadored it; the cathedral, of course. Then we'd go for muffaletas at theCentral Grocery. You know, or maybe you don't, the big sandwichesfull of olives-""I know.""桽he'd tell me everything that had happened in the week sinceI'd been there. I'd dance with her in the street. Sing to her. Oh, whata beautiful voice she had from the beginning. I don't have a goodvoice. My mother had a good voice, and so did Terry. And this childgot the voice. And the mind she had. We'd ride the ferry togetherover the river and back, and sing, as we stood by the rail. I took hershopping at D. H. Holmes and bought her beautiful clothes. Hermother never minded that, the beautiful clothes, and of course I wassmart enough to pick up something for Terry, you know, a brassieredripping with lace or a kit of cosmetics from Paris or some perfumeselling for one hundred dollars an ounce. Anything but Blue Waltz!
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