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"I went amongst them, expecting to be snubbed, but I realizedimmediately that these souls saw me differently than the others.
They saw everything differently. They were more attuned to thesubtleties of the invisible because they had accepted its conditionstotally. If I wished to be what I was, let me be it, they thought, and theyjudged me very seriously on how well I succeeded in being this tallcreature, winged and longhaired and dressed in flowing robes.
Within moments of my arrival, I felt happiness around me. I feltacceptance. I felt a total lack of resistance and a daring curiosity. Theyknew I was not a human soul. They knew because they had reached apoint where they could see this! They could see a lot about everyother soul they looked at. And they could see a great deal of the worldbelow.
"One of these souls was in the shape of a woman, and it was notmy Lilia at all, by the way, for I never did see her in any form again.
But it was a woman who had died I think in midlife having had nu-merous children, some of whom were with her now, and some ofwhom were still below. This soul existed in a serenity that was almostbecoming bright. That is, its evolution was so high on the invisiblelevel that it was beginning to generate something like the Light ofGod!
" 'What makes you so different?' I asked this woman. 'Whatmakes all of you here, clustered together in this place, so verydifferent?'
"With an acuity that astonished me, this woman asked me who Iwas. Dead souls just usually don't ask that question. They plungeright into their helpless preoccupations and obsessions. But she said,'Who are you and what are you? I have never seen one like you beforehere. Only when I was alive.'
" 'I don't want to tell you yet,' I said. 'But I want to learn fromyou. Will you tell me why you seem happy? You are happy, aren'tyou?'
" 'Yes,' she said, 'I'm with those I love, and look below, look at allof it.'
" 'Then you harbour no questions about all of it?' I pushed. 'Youdon't long to know why you were born or why you suffered or whathappened to you when you died or why you're here?'
"To my further amazement, she laughed. Laughter I had neverheard in Sheol. It was soft, soothing, merry laughter, sweet laughter,laughter like the laughter of angels, and I think I sang to her softly inresponse, rather naturally, and at this her soul exploded like ablossom, the way fleshly souls had exploded below when they had learntto love each other! She warmed to me and opened. 'You arebeautiful,' she whispered respectfully.
" 'But why, why are all these others in this place so unhappy, andwhy are you few here filled with peace and joy? Yes, I know, I havelooked below. And you are with those you love. But so are all theseothers.'
" 'We don't resent God anymore,' she said. 'Any of us here. Wedon't hate Him.'
" 'The others do?'
" 'It's not that they hate Him,' she said gently, being very carefulwith me, as if I were easy to bruise. 'It's that they can't forgive Himfor all this ... for the world, for what's happened, and for this state ofSheol in which we languish. But we can. We have forgiven Him. Andall of us have done it for various reasons, but forgiveness of God, thatwe have attained. We accept that our lives have been wondrousexperiences, and worth the pain and the suffering, and we cherish now thejoy we knew, and the moments of harmony, and we have forgivenHim for not ever explaining it all to us, for not justifying it, notpunishing the bad or rewarding the good, or whatever else it is that allthese souls, living and dead, expect of Him. We forgive Him. Wedon't know, but we suspect that maybe He knows a great secret abouthow all this pain could come to pass and still be good. And if Hedoesn't want to tell, well, He is God. But whatever, we forgive Himand we Love Him in our forgiveness, even though we know He maynever care about any of us, any more than He cares for the pebbles ona beach below.'
"I was speechless. I sat very still, letting these souls of their ownvolition gather around me. Then one very young soul, the soul of achild, said:
" 'It seemed a terrible thing at first that God would bring us intothe world to be murdered as we were, all of us梖or you see, we threehere died in war梑ut we have forgiven Him, because we know that ifHe could make something as beautiful as Life and Death, then hemust Understand.'
" 'You see,' said another soul to me, 'it comes to this. We wouldsuffer it all again, if we had to. And we would try to be better to eachother and more loving. But it was worth it.'
" 'Yes,' said another. 'It took me all my life on Earth to ForgiveGod for the world, but I did it before I died, and came to dwell herewith these others. And look, if you try hard, you'll see that we havemade this something of a garden. It's hard for us. We work only withour minds and wills and memories, and imaginations, but we aremaking a place where we can remember what was good. And weforgive Him and we love Him that He gave us this much.'
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