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"Should everyone just go to Heaven?" he asked. "I mean, shouldeveryone go?""No. That can't be," I said. "Not creatures like me, not creatureswho have tortured and killed other creatures, not people who havedeliberately duplicated through their actions punishments as severeas disease, or fire, or earthquake梩hat is, not people who have donewrongs that hurt others just as much or worse than natural disasters.
It can't be right for them to go to Heaven, not if they don't know, notif they don't understand, not if they haven't begun to comprehendwhat they've done! Heaven would be Hell in no time if every cruel,selfish, vicious soul went to Heaven. I don't want to meet theunreformed monsters of Earth in Heaven! If it's that easy, then thesuffering of this world is damned near.. ..""Damn near what?
"Unforgivable," I whispered.
"What would be forgivable梖rom the point of view of a soul whodied in pain and confusion? A soul who knew that God didn't care?""I don't know," I said. "When you described the elect of Sheol,the first million souls you took through the Heavenly Gates, youdidn't speak of reformed monsters; you spoke of people who hadforgiven God for an unjust world, didn't you?""That's right, I did. That's what I found. That's what I took withme with certainty to Heaven's Gates, yes.""But you spoke entirely as if these people had been victims ofGod's injustice. You didn't touch upon the souls of the guilty? Thoselike me梩he transgressors, those who were the doers of injustice?""Don't you think they have their story?""Some may have their excuses, engrained in their stupidity andtheir simplicity and their fear of authority. I don't know. But many,many evildoers must be just like me. They know how bad they are.
They don't care. They do what they do because ... because they loveit. I love making vampires. I love drinking blood. I love taking life. Ialways have.""Is that really why you drink blood? Just because you love it? Orisn't it because you were made into a perfect preternaturalmechanism for craving blood eternally, and thriving only on blood?
snatched out of life and made a gleaming Child of the Night by anunjust world that cared no more for you and your destiny than itcared for any infant who starved that night in Paris?""I don't justify what I do or what I am. If you think I do, if that'swhy you want me to run Hell with you, or accuse God . . . then youpicked the wrong person. I deserve to pay for what I've taken frompeople. Where are their souls, those I've slain? Were they ready forHeaven? Have they gone to Hell? Did those souls loosen in theiridentity and are they still in the whirlwind between Hell and Heaven?
Souls are there, I know, I saw them, souls who have yet to find eitherplace.""Yes, true.""I could have sent souls into the whirlwind. I am the embodimentof greed and cruelty. I devoured the mortals I've killed like so muchfood and drink. I cannot justify it.""Do you think I want you to justify it?" Memnoch asked. "Whatviolence have I justified so far? What makes you think I would likeyou if you justified or defended your actions? Have I ever defendedanyone who made anyone else suffer?""No, you haven't.""Well, then?""What is Hell, and how can you run it? You don't want people tosuffer. You don't even seem to want me to suffer. You can't point toGod and say He makes it all Good and Meaningful! You can't. You'reHis opposition. So what is Hell?""What do you think it is?" he asked me again. "What would youmorally settle for ... before rejecting me out of hand! Before fleeingfrom me. What sort of Hell could you believe in and would you梚fyou were in my place梒reate?""A place where people realize what they've done to others; wherethey face every detail of it, and realize every particle of it, so that theywould never, never do the same thing again; a place where souls arereformed, literally, by knowledge of what they'd done wrong andhow they could have avoided it, and what they should have done.
When they understand, as you said of the Elect of Sheol, when theycan forgive not only God for this big mess, but themselves for theirown failures, their own horrible angry reactions, their own spite andmeanness, when they love everyone totally in complete forgiveness,then they would be worthy of Heaven. Hell would have to be where theysee the consequences of their actions, but with a full merciful comprehensionof how little they themselves knew.""Precisely. To know what has hurt others, to realize that youdidn't know, that nobody gave you the knowledge, yet still you hadthe power! And to forgive that, and forgive your victims, and forgiveGod and forgive yourself.""Yes. That would be it. That would terminate my anger, myoutrage. I couldn't shake my fist anymore, if only I could forgive Godand others and myself."He didn't say anything. He sat with his arms folded, eyes wide, hisdark smooth brow barely touched with the moisture of the air.
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